I recently had the pleasure of opening up Snapchat and seeing two of my childhood friends get engaged, congratulations to you both! They’ve been dating for quite a while and I’m so sad that I was unable to join in the festivities but here’s to hoping to a beautiful wedding and successful marriage.
It just so happened that I decided to take my wife out on a date that same morning. Sometimes my studies prevent me from having meaningful time with my wife and so it’s incumbent on me to make sure that when I have free time, I use it. So here are my top 5 things I do to keep the love alive and to keep me winning the Husband of the year award.
- Flowers are pretty basic and just about every guy knows that every once in a while you should come home with flowers (and if you don’t know, now you know). But a real man takes it a step further because he knows the likes and dislikes of his wife. So I for one am married to a pastry chef so I know she likes her desserts. So whenever I happen to be out and about with the guys and I see a nice bakery that she’s mentioned in passing or one that just seems exceptional, I’ll pull over and bring back a few of her favorite desserts. Keep in mind that in order to get to this level you need to fulfill the prerequisites of being a good listener else you won’t remember which bakery and or which sweets she really wants. It’s one thing to come home with chocolate, it’s another thing entirely to come home with Tiramisu.
- I’m a family guy and the concept of marrying into a family was one I knew I would be doing. So that meant going to watch action movies with the father in law, visiting Nano (her grandmother), or staying in and watching her mother cook dinner (she’s a chef also ya know). While all of this seems minor, it actually meant a lot to my wife. In our first year of marriage I would leave work and drive her back and forth multiple times a week to spend time with her family because I realized she was homesick. I definitely did not have to, and my gas expenses sky rocketed that year but I wanted a happy wife. Even today I’ll occasionally jump on Amazon and send her parents a gift just so they remember that I’m thinking of them. While this of course increases their love for me, it especially increases my wife’s love for me. I know they are reading this so don’t worry, your next gift is coming soon. PROMISE!
- Dropping the phone. This is a bit hard to do and I know I could do better. We are almost always on our phones and nowadays it has even become okay to have your phone in the bedroom at night. I’ve made a rule on myself that when it’s not work related or important the phone gets parked on the charger. What does this mean? It means 75% of the day my phone isn’t connected to me and it means I spend more time with her. It means when she wants to tell me how cool her day was I’m not distracted.
- I like clothing and so does she. A really nice thing about living abroad is that there is an abundance of modest women’s clothing. So every now and then I’ll tell her I have a quick errand to run. I’ll run out to meet the husband of some designer here, make a transaction and come home with bags of clothing for her to try on. Oh and I don’t walk in with the bags because that would be far too boring. I usually sneak in the apartment, go in the bedroom when she’s in the kitchen cooking (I usually only do this when she’s cooking because I know she’ll be too distracted to pay attention) and put them on the bed. When she’s ready to go to sleep for the day she’ll go in the room and plop down on the bed only to find all these new outfits. I usually hide one somewhere else, because once the initial excitement wears off she’ll go to try them on and them BAM, yet another outfit is in the closet waiting. Needless to say the fashion show that follows is enjoyable for the both of us.
- I give her hugs. Maybe it’s just me but men have no idea the power of a hug and a “I love you”. It’s so powerful. Women just melt in your warm embrace as the words leave your tongue and enter their ears. I like to think that I’m following in the footsteps of the greatest man to have ever lived, The Prophet Muhammad. Yes Jesus (May God’s peace and blessings be upon him) was no doubt great as well but he also didn’t get married so. . . yah. Give her hugs, she’ll love ‘em.
So here are my top 5. I’m sure I missed a few but I can’t share all my secrets. If you stick to these you’ll be solid. Ladies, let me know what other ideas are good ones so I can test them out! Also, don’t be shy to communicate your wants and needs to hubby, the reality is sometimes we just have no clue. Sometimes the Dark Side fogs up our vision and we end up like Yoda trying to figure out what’s going to happen next.
Oh and there is one honorable mention.
- Take her out on a date at least once a month. If you can do more than that then kudos to you. It doesn’t have to be somewhere expensive and special. A park, breakfast, even a walk in the mall to get some ice cream, just do it. Once you’ve reminded her that you’ve set aside an entire day just to make her feel like the queen she is. . .lets just say you’ll subscribe to my blog because the rewards will be well worth it.
And these are just a few reminders . . . for those who believe.