We don’t get even: How to respond when people hurt you

People sting. My teacher once told me that part of the path towards Divine pleasure is being able to take the pain that people throw at you. You see, people are always going to harm you in some way or another. People are going to have nasty words, people are going to hate you, and be envious of you, and that often times is going to translate into actions and statements that hurt. I should make something clear as I continue, I’m not telling people to be patient with physical violence and mental abuse, you don’t need to take that and if it happens you need to get out of there.

What I am saying is that today I haven’t left my couch because I’ve received phone calls, text messages, and Dms from people speaking about their pain. People have hurt you, and people continue to hurt you. Some have hurt you knowingly and others unknowingly. You have the opportunity to react in the same way, you could hurt them, you could sabotage them and their lives. You could, but what good would it be for your heart?

I remember one of the greatest advices that I received from my teacher was, “You need to learn to suck the poison out without swallowing it yourself.”

You need to be okay with removing yourself from the situation and not feeling like you need to play the hero. You need to be okay with saving your soul. You need to be okay with relocating. I remember when I felt my heart faltering because of my surroundings, I got up and left my city, job, opportunities and everything that I had and went for a cure. It didn’t matter what I gained if I would lose my heart. Yet, some people will argue themselves into staying in environments, relationships, careers, etc. that ultimately destroy them. Take the pain that people throw at you, don’t poison them back, don’t destroy them, don’t spit it back in their face… but don’t neglect to protect yourself either. Be Prophetic, and Allah will bring ease when you least expect it. Don’t be the source of their pain or someone else’s., like they were the source of yours. Hurt people, hurt people. Unless you’re guided, we pray, cry it out, and drink some tea while praising our Lord for His infinite mercies.


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  • It takes a person of tremendous courage, strength, and character to be able to just walk away from everything for their own salvation. The familiar is so hard to break from. But the biggest attachment of all is this life – and we know that attachment will break sooner or later – so we’d be wise to get used to being a traveller.


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