Dear Believer Series: Learning to say “No”

Dear Believer,

I was listening to my new favorite podcast, The Happy People Podcast, which is hosted by the good friend Nye Armstrong. During one of the episodes I heard her and a guest mention that they were both working on their problem of saying “no.” I’m pretty sure this is an issue that many of us suffer from.

I know it’s a huge issue for me. Especially because I’m Jamaican and we are rumored to take on every project/job that comes our way in an effort to maintain being the providers we believe we should be.

At times I sit and look at my schedule and realize that I haven’t said no to a single request that has come to me over the past month. Naturally this culminates in a to-do list that no human could realistically accomplish in a timely manner.

Word is bond. When you say you are going to do something, you should follow through. But what happens when you’ve been unable to say no and end up agreeing to be at everyone’s beck and call? Then you end up not fulfilling the rights of anyone, and maybe even doing worse, doing harm to them, yourself, and your family.

I found myself going down that path yet again in life during these past few months. With an immense schedule of studies, a writing schedule (#NaNoWriMo to boot), running my Patreon, a non-profit about to launch, and a family, yet I still found myself agreeing to things.

I was well-intentioned and some of these projects that I agreed to were started by some of the most beloved people to myself. Others I agreed to because of a fear of poverty and just knowing that people who take the route I’m upon don’t usually have a very secure financial future. So I stretched myself, but I forgot something very important.

My body, my family, my soul all have rights over me. So just a reminder to yourself, remember to say “no” occasionally so that you can give yourself what you deserve.


You really ought to join my Patreon. I share chapters of my upcoming book and no one else except you will have access to it. Come join me, enjoy my writing, and support my craft. Join my Patreon family here!

2018-05-01 11.53.49

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