I haven’t written to you in a few days and it’s for no reason other than I’m tired. I’m frustrated. I’m trying to continually be the servant that you commanded me to be, but I end up falling short. And while I know that everything is as it should be, I hate it.
I hate it because I want nothing more than to make my will your own. I want nothing more than to stay away from that which you dislike, to fall in love with what you approve of, and to live everyday reflecting on your Truth.
But it’s hard, and when I slip it hurts to know that it’s you that I’m disobeying.
It’s frustrating because I know exactly what I’m supposed to do, but yet somehow I keep doing the opposite.
And time and time again you give me yet another day, another blessing.
Take this month for example. I woke up to find that the new moon had been sighted and that the month of Rajab was now upon us.
A blessed month.
A sacred month.
A month that begins the countdown to the greatest of months.
A month that shows me that you’ve given me yet another chance.
And it came just when I needed it
Just when I was giving up on myself
Just when I thought the race was too long and that I wouldn’t make it
Just when my spiritual vehicle was running out of gas
You sent just what I needed to keep going.
But that’s what you always do, isn’t it? You don’t send what I want, you send what I need.
Now the countdown begins to the month of Ramadan and I’m ready and excited for it. I’m ready to experience your mercy, I’m ready to readjust, to realign, to re-devote myself to your path.
Thank you for the new moon.
Rajab 3rd, 1440
March 10th, 2019
Arthur K. Richards